Care Manager with 40+ Years Experience Shares Her Five Reasons for “Over-Treatment” of Elders by the Medical System

 

 

With over 40 years of experience, including 20 years operating a care management company, multiple-time TEDx speaker and author Amy Cameron O’Rourke has discovered a role for herself and her passion for helping people and their loved ones find peace, joy and health as they age.

Cameron, the author of the book ‘The Fragile Years: Proven Strategies for the Care of Aging Loved Ones,’ sat down with AltHealthWorks.com for a discussion on these and other topics related to aging, health, and coming to terms with grief, death, fear of losing loved ones, and other taboo subjects.

O’Rourke’s perspective is unique because she has spent time with countless patients in their 80s, 90s and beyond, and spent quite a bit of time with these patients and their loved ones.

Her decades of experience as a care manager has given her unique insight into what happens during these years of patients’ and their families’ lives.

The following are excerpts of our interview with Amy:

 

AHW: What do you think people should know about the latter years of life and caring for aging loved ones?

What advice would you have for people who may be afraid of getting that call letting them know that a loved one passed on and maybe they weren’t there to say an official goodbye? 

AOR: The first thing I would want you to know is, people will die on their own terms.

But it’s not always that way.

I have seen this many times, people will wait for a relative to come and then they will die. I’ve watched sons and daughters by the bedside of their parents and then the parents will die when they leave the room.

I know in my heart of hearts, they die on their own terms; you have to come to terms with who your parents are and know you might not be there, because that (may be) what your parents want.

AHW: Can you talk about what life is generally like in the ‘Fragile Years’ among your patients, as you call them in the book?

A lot of people when they’re in their 60s and are healthy on their own, there are not a lot of (major health concerns). Statistically if you make it to 65 you’re going to make it to 85.

During the Fragile Years, which the book is about, the pace of movement is generally slower.

My rule of thumb is, less acute care in the Fragile Years (is generally a good thing), because major surgery at 85 is very different than when you’re 60.

 

Check out Amy’s 15-minute TEDx talk ‘Caring for Our Elders: When Less is More’ on the over-treatment of older Americans below.

In it, she discusses the five main reasons why she believes that elders in America are subject to “over-treatment” by the medical system, and why it’s important.

 

 

AHW: What are some memorable times you’ve had with people at the end of their lives?

AOR: I’ve put many a washcloth on someone dying and seen that smile of gratitude in one patient, that little tiny squeeze of the hand, her eyes looked really serene on her face. It was something we had in common.

My mother, while I was filing her nails, when I got her cuticles all moist she opened up her eyes she says, “I think you should do whatever makes you happy.”

And then she shut her eyes, and you know, I was like, ‘Wow,’ I’m going to start a business (now).

In the middle of dying, she said that.

It came from this quiet, not a lot of talking in that period of time.

It was a forever affirmation and validation that (took) 27 years, from not forcing anything, just from being there.

Aside from those experiences, I’ve worked with a lot of different people with a lot of differing opinions on how they should be cared for in their ‘Fragile Years.’

I’ve worked with people who really love going to the doctor or the pulmonologist, they see it as social time. Others dread it and don’t want to go, or they don’t want to talk or take any medicine.

Others take everything the doctor says as gospel in their 80s. They have think their doctor is the next thing to the Dalai Llama.

 

AHW: Can you tell me a little about the book and how it has been received so far?

AOR: I’ve had a lot of elders reading the book and giving it to their children saying this is who they’re going to be in their Fragile Years.

I didn’t expect that but that’s been a real bonus to know that these elderly people are giving the book to their children.

I’ve been told it’s practical, it’s clear, it’s informational, just practical guidance that in the trenches is really helpful.

Thanks for reading! Amy’s book ‘The Fragile Years:’ Proven Strategies for the Care of Aging Loved Ones’ is available on Amazon.com and can be purchased through her website by clicking here.

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